Milestones: Age 0–6 years
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0–6 Months | 6–12 Months | 12-18 Months | 18-24 Months | Years 2-3 | Years 3-4 | Years 4-5 | Years 5-6
Milestones 0-6 months
A Time of Firsts and Deep Connection
The journey of bonding between mother and child begins well before birth. During pregnancy, the fetus attunes to the mother’s rhythms—her heartbeat, voice, and daily patterns. Research indicates that maternal behaviors and biological rhythms influence the development of the fetal circadian system, laying the foundation for the baby’s own internal clock. *1
The first six months after birth are filled with ‘firsts’—not just for the baby, but for the parents as well. It’s a period of profound connection, mutual discovery, and adaptation. While sleep may be scarce, moments of rest, warmth, and unparalleled love abound. For many first-time parents, this phase also brings new fears and anxieties, stemming from the immense responsibility of caring for such a precious life.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
First social smiles, often around 6–8 weeks
Reacting to voices, turning toward sounds
Tracking movement with their eyes
Beginning to lift their head during tummy time
Grasping fingers and exploring with their mouth
A Pedagogical Perspective
From the very beginning, even before birth, your baby is attuned to your rhythms—your heartbeat, voice, and daily patterns. This early connection lays the foundation for a deep bond that continues to grow after birth.
In these early months, your baby is not only growing physically but also building the foundation of emotional security and sensory awareness. This time is about co-regulation: your calm becomes their calm, your rhythm becomes their rhythm. Through simple, repeated rituals—eye contact, gentle holding, predictable feeding—you’re laying the groundwork for trust and emotional resilience.
This phase doesn’t require overstimulation; it thrives on attunement. Slowness here isn’t just acceptable; it’s essential.
In line with the Montessori philosophy, this period emphasizes respect for the baby’s natural development and cues. Practices such as feeding on demand support the baby’s innate hunger and sleep rhythms, fostering a sense of security and trust. Montessori observed that in cultures where babies remained close to their caregivers, often sharing sleep spaces and feeding responsively, children developed strong bonds and emotional resilience. *2
Modern research supports these practices, highlighting the benefits of skin-to-skin contact and responsive caregiving. Such approaches have been associated with improved regulation of temperature, heart rate, and breathing in newborns, as well as enhanced bonding and breastfeeding success. *3
By embracing these nurturing practices, you’re not only honoring your baby’s needs but also laying the groundwork for a lifelong relationship built on trust, empathy, and mutual respect.
Coming Soon:
We’ll explore simple ways to support your baby’s development through everyday care, and how your own pace shapes their inner world.
Milestones 6-12 months
Movement, Curiosity & Emerging Independence
This stage is full of motion — both physical and emotional. Your baby is beginning to explore the world beyond your arms, yet they still look back often to check that you are near. This back-and-forth is the beginning of healthy independence, rooted in connection.
It’s a time of crawling, sitting, clapping, babbling — but also of deeper emotional signals: separation anxiety, joy at reunion, and bursts of frustration as they try to do things for themselves. These are all signs of healthy development.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Rolling, sitting, crawling — or variations of all three
Reaching for objects and using a pincer grip
Babbling sounds like “ba,” “ma,” or “da”
Expressing preferences, likes/dislikes
Showing curiosity and desire to participate in everyday routines
A Pedagogical Perspective
Your baby is now actively doing — not just observing. According to Montessori, this is the “sensorial explorer” phase, where learning happens through touch, taste, sound, and movement. Providing safe, accessible spaces to explore freely is essential. Let them move at their own pace — no rush to walk or “perform.” Every attempt, tumble, or reach is part of the learning.
This is also the beginning of conscious will. Your child may resist a nappy change or reach insistently for your cup — this is not “naughty” behavior, but the emergence of identity. They are testing limits, expressing preference, and building autonomy — always in the safety of your presence.
The Heart of Connection
Emotionally, this is still a period of deep dependence. While they explore more and more, they need your responsive presence as much as ever. Coming when they call, naming their emotions, and offering consistent comfort builds emotional resilience and trust.
Letting them fall asleep in your arms, nursing on demand, staying close when they’re unwell — these are not habits to “fix,” but instincts to honour. This kind of parenting is not soft; it’s deeply attuned.
Modern research supports what many cultures and the Montessori method have always known: responsive caregiving builds secure attachment, and secure attachment leads to long-term emotional strength. *4
Coming Soon:
We’ll explore simple ways to create a baby-friendly environment, support communication before words, and foster motor skills through natural play — without overstimulation or pressure.
Milestones 12-18 months
The World on Two Feet — A New Kind of Freedom
With first steps comes a new kind of freedom — for your child, and a new kind of watchfulness for you. Whether walking confidently or still cruising along furniture, your little one is now exploring the world upright. They move with determination, curiosity, and often surprising bravery. But they still seek your closeness, your lap, your smile of reassurance.
This stage is a beautiful blend of emerging independence and deep need for connection. You may see strong preferences, bigger emotions, and more moments of frustration. These are not signs of defiance — they are signs of development.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
First steps or confident walking
Imitating everyday actions (sweeping, stirring, talking on a phone)
Pointing, showing, naming familiar things
Using a few words with meaning (“mama,” “ball,” “no”)
More defined sleep patterns, but still often needing support falling asleep
A Pedagogical Perspective
Montessori described this time as the unfolding of the will — when a child begins to act with intention and choice. They want to help, participate, and do things by themselves. Our role is to prepare the environment so they can — giving them real objects, small tasks, and the time to try.
They are now in a sensitive period for movement and language. Providing them with rich, real-world language — naming things, describing your actions, singing songs — supports language development far more than “teaching” ever could.
This is also when children thrive on rhythm and structure. Not rigid routines, but predictable flows — meals, naps, outdoor time, quiet time. Rhythm gives safety; within it, your child can explore with confidence.
The Heart of Connection
Emotional outbursts often begin around now — not because your child is “misbehaving,” but because they are feeling deeply and lack the tools to express it. They need co-regulation, not control. That means you offering calm when they feel stormy, not trying to shut the storm down.
This is the time to stay close, not step back. Let them fall asleep on you. Feed them when they’re hungry, not by the clock. Comfort them when they cry. You’re not creating “bad habits” — you’re showing them the world is safe, their feelings are valid, and love is constant.
Scientific studies confirm that toddlers who experience consistent, nurturing responses from caregivers develop stronger self-regulation and emotional security later in life. *5
Coming Soon:
Next, we’ll look at how to support your toddler’s desire to “do it myself,” avoid common discipline pitfalls, and create calm, connected spaces for play and daily life.
Milestones 18-24 months
"I Do It Myself” — The Rise of the Independent Spirit
This phase marks a shift from babyhood into early toddlerhood, and with it comes a bold, emerging sense of self. Your child is discovering that they are a separate person — with wants, ideas, preferences, and opinions. They may say “no” a lot, insist on helping, and show strong reactions when things don’t go their way.
This is not rebellion. It’s identity in motion.
At the same time, your child is still deeply attached to you. You are their safe base from which to explore — and the person they return to for comfort, regulation, and love.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Walking, climbing, and starting to run
Speaking several words, combining two-word phrases
Naming familiar people and objects
Showing empathy (e.g., comforting a crying doll or a peer)
Engaging in pretend play, imitating real-life tasks
Expressing clear likes and dislikes
A Pedagogical Perspective
Montessori referred to toddlers as having an “absorbent mind” — soaking in everything from their environment, especially through hands-on experience. This is the perfect time to include them in daily life: pouring water, sweeping with a small broom, carrying their own cup. Real work has real value.
This age is also shaped by the sensitive period for language. Narrating your actions, reading simple books, and giving real names for things (not baby talk) supports rich language acquisition and cognitive growth.
Limits are now essential — not for control, but for containment. Your calm, firm boundaries give shape to their expanding world. Limits that are kind and consistent help toddlers feel safe, not restricted.
The Heart of Connection
This is a time when frustration runs high. Your toddler’s emotions often outweigh their ability to express them — leading to tears, hitting, throwing, or refusal. But this isn’t a “bad child.” This is a child who needs help regulating.
Responding with calm presence teaches them that all feelings are safe — and that no emotion will break the bond. Even in the middle of a tantrum, your closeness is their anchor.
Co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, feeding on demand — these are still valid, still deeply nurturing. Your child hasn’t outgrown their need for connection; it has simply evolved. In fact, studies show that toddlers with secure attachment are more likely to explore confidently and form healthy relationships later in life. *6
Coming Soon:
In the next section, we’ll explore the transition into the two-year-old stage, how to support growing independence without pressure, and ways to nurture early language, play, and emotional intelligence through simple, intentional daily life.
Milestones 2-3 years
Big Feelings, Brave Steps & Becoming Themselves
Your child is now firmly in the toddler years — a time often misunderstood as “the terrible twos,” but in truth, it is a powerful phase of emotional, cognitive, and physical growth. This is the age of self-expression, self-determination, and emerging self-awareness.
You’ll likely see big emotions, sudden shifts between independence and clinginess, and strong preferences for how, when, and where they want to do things. This is normal. It’s healthy. It’s also deeply intense — for both the child and the parent.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Running, climbing, jumping — with growing coordination
Vocabulary explosion: using two to four word sentences
Asking questions (“what’s that?” “why?”)
Expressing a sense of ownership: “mine,” “I do it”
Beginning to show awareness of routines, rules, and consequences
Starting to play alongside or with other children
A Pedagogical Perspective
This age thrives on purposeful activity and clear rhythms. Children want to be included in real life — not just entertained. Practical life tasks, like watering plants, folding socks, washing dishes, or preparing food, offer rich developmental benefits. They satisfy the child’s need for meaningful work and build concentration, fine motor skills, and confidence.
According to Montessori, this is also a time for nurturing the will with loving boundaries and choice within limits. For example: “Would you like to put on your socks or your pants first?” Not “do you want to get dressed?” This offers empowerment without overwhelm.
It’s also a time to support language through respectful communication. Speak with care, clarity, and kindness — not just to instruct, but to connect. Avoid shaming language. Instead, model emotional vocabulary: “You’re feeling frustrated because the block tower fell. That’s hard.”
The Heart of Connection
At this age, your child needs your presence more than your performance. They don’t need endless toys or curated activities — they need you. Sitting on the floor, noticing their ideas, allowing for slow moments, offering a warm lap during a meltdown — these simple acts create the foundation for trust and lifelong resilience.
It’s also a tender time. Tantrums may be frequent, naps may shift, boundaries may be tested daily. But underneath every “no,” every refusal, every collapse in the hallway, is a child seeking connection, understanding, and co-regulation.
And let’s talk about that no. It’s not only okay — it’s vital. A toddler who says “no” is learning to assert boundaries, to trust their voice, to express their needs. This is not defiance. It’s the root of self-respect.
We don’t want to raise children who blindly obey. We want to raise humans who can stand up for themselves, who feel safe to speak, to question, to express. Children constantly silenced or shamed for saying “no” may grow into adults who struggle to advocate for themselves, who suppress emotions, or even become vulnerable to mental health challenges.
Your child’s strong will is not something to crush. It’s something to guide and honour — gently, consistently, and with respect.
As the science confirms, the way we respond to our toddlers now — with presence, empathy, and gentle structure — influences how they will respond to their own emotions for years to come .*7
Coming Soon:
In the next section, we’ll look at how to support your child’s growing social world, navigate the shift in sleep and routines, and gently prepare for toilet independence — without pressure or shame.
Milestones 3-4 years
Wonder, Imagination & The Blossoming of the Inner World
This is an age of blooming. Your child is now stretching further into the world, often bursting with ideas, creativity, and questions. They live with one foot in reality and one in imagination, making sense of everything through play, movement, and story.
They are often more verbal, more independent — yet still deeply sensitive and in need of gentle guidance. They may seem confident one minute and deeply unsure the next. This is the dance of growing up.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Asking many questions — “why” becomes a constant companion
Engaging in rich imaginative and role play
Beginning to play cooperatively with others
Identifying basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, scared)
Following multi-step directions
Showing interest in toilet learning (or mastering it fully)
Developing more control over large and fine motor skills (cutting, drawing shapes, dressing)
A Pedagogical Perspective
In Montessori, this age is viewed as the continuation of the absorbent mind, but now with more conscious direction. Children want to understand how things work. Their curiosity is no longer just sensory — it’s also conceptual. Why do we wear shoes? Where does the moon go? Why do I have to wait?
At this stage, it is important to give honest, age-appropriate answers without rushing their wonder. Questions are not interruptions — they are invitations. When you pause to listen and respond, you teach your child that their voice and thoughts matter.
This is also a critical phase for social-emotional learning. Children begin to understand friendships, fairness, and frustration. You may see conflicts over sharing, inclusion, or rules. These are not problems — they are practice grounds for empathy, assertiveness, and problem-solving. Your role is not to fix every issue, but to guide and model: “I see you’re both wanting the same shovel. How can we solve this together?”
Toilet independence may also blossom at this age, especially when supported without pressure or shame. Montessori reminds us that children want to grow into autonomy — but only when the environment is respectful, and their readiness is honoured.
The Heart of Connection
The child of this age is tender and expressive, and their inner world is expanding. Their stories, their fears, their delight in the smallest thing — these are gifts. When we rush past them, we miss the soul of childhood.
This is also when emotional regulation is still developing. Your child may still melt down when tired, hungry, or overwhelmed. That’s okay. Your job isn’t to stop the feelings — it’s to be present with them. To be the calm in the storm.
Montessori said, “The child is both a hope and a promise for mankind.” When we respond with patience, connection, and gentle leadership, we raise not only a secure child — but a future adult who trusts themselves, empathizes with others, and stands strong in the world.
Coming Soon:
In the next section, we’ll explore the shift from toddlerhood into early childhood, how to support growing self-identity, and why storytelling, routines, and connection remain the foundation of emotional growth.
Milestones 4-5 years
Identity, Independence & The First Glimpse of Who They Are
This is the age when many parents pause and say, “I’m really starting to see who they are.” The child is becoming more articulate, more expressive, and more socially aware. They’re developing ideas, preferences, values — even humour and morals. It’s a time of emerging identity.
Children at this age often begin preschool or kindergarten, or enter more structured group environments. But this doesn’t mean they’re ready to be rushed. They are still small. Still learning. Still needing presence, protection, and play.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Telling imaginative stories with a beginning and end
Drawing with more intention and detail (faces, people, shapes)
Asking deep questions about the world, life, and fairness
Taking turns and participating in group games
Expressing likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams
Practicing independence in dressing, toileting, and daily tasks
Displaying emerging empathy and awareness of others’ feelings
A Pedagogical Perspective
At this age, children thrive in environments that allow for freedom within structure. Predictable routines help them feel safe, while open-ended materials and meaningful tasks give them room to explore.
Montessori described this stage as a shift toward the development of the social self. Children begin to understand fairness, justice, and group belonging. They’re also watching adults more closely than ever, not just to imitate — but to internalise. Your behaviour becomes their blueprint.
One of the most valuable ways to support this development is to invite children to be involved in daily life tasks — especially in the kitchen. Let them help with stirring, chopping soft fruit, setting the table, or washing dishes. It may take longer. It may be messy. There might be the occasional broken glass. But these moments are not inconveniences — they are irreplaceable learning opportunities.
If we constantly say, “You’re too little”, the child eventually believes it — and stops offering. They lose interest in helping, and with it, the confidence and motivation that comes from meaningful contribution. As many parents have later said with regret: “I wish I had started earlier. Now they don’t want to help at all.”
Let them use real, breakable items. They will learn care and responsibility through direct experience. Let them see that their actions matter — that they can make a difference in the space around them. This is how we raise not just helpful children, but empowered, capable humans.
Support their growing autonomy with gentle encouragement. Offer choices that empower without overwhelming. For example: “Would you like to help cut the fruit or set the table?” Involve them in real-life tasks with trust. You are teaching competence, not just convenience.
This is also a prime time for narrative development. Stories — told, read, acted out, or drawn — are powerful tools for emotional processing and creativity. Choose books that reflect both reality and imagination, and create space for your child’s voice.
The Heart of Connection
This is an age of great sensitivity. Children may appear confident, but their hearts are tender. They can feel deeply discouraged by harsh words or dismissive reactions. They remember how we speak to them. They believe what we mirror back.
Your role is to hold space for who they are becoming — not rush it, not shape it by force, but accompany it with curiosity and care.
They may test rules. That’s okay. They’re learning what limits mean. They may question your answers. That’s beautiful. They’re thinking critically. They may show fear or anxiety. That’s natural. They still need your lap, your hand, your steady presence.
Let them fall asleep to your stories. Let them help wash the windows. Let them climb the hill again, even if you’re in a hurry. These small acts are not “extras” — they are the core of connection and the soil for lifelong self-worth.
And always remember: A child who is seen, heard, and respected becomes an adult who sees, hears, and respects themselves — and others.
Milestones 5-6 years
The Bridge Between Early Childhood and the Wider World
This stage is often described as a threshold — one foot still deeply rooted in the playful, emotional rhythm of early childhood, and the other beginning to reach toward the wider world. Many children begin school at this age, or experience more structured learning environments. There’s a sense of something new beginning — but also a deep need to hold onto what has been secure and familiar.
Children at this age still thrive on play, still need closeness, and still learn best through doing. They may appear more independent — and in many ways they are — but the need for emotional co-regulation, reassurance, and rhythm remains just as important as in earlier years.
Key Milestones You May Notice:
Understanding time concepts (days of the week, seasons, routines)
Showing stronger friendships and interest in group dynamics
Learning early reading, writing, and numeracy skills
Asking “why” questions with deeper reasoning
Developing clearer moral thinking (right vs. wrong)
Becoming more aware of rules, fairness, and consequences
Beginning to compare themselves to others
A Pedagogical Perspective
From a pedagogical view — especially within Montessori and other holistic approaches — the 5–6 year old child is seen as entering the stage of the conscious learner. They’re no longer just absorbing the world passively; they’re now choosing to understand it actively. This is when curiosity takes on depth, and when children begin to form stronger internal motivation to learn, achieve, and contribute.
But it’s crucial to protect the joy of learning. Too often, external pressure creeps in here — to read faster, write better, sit longer. If learning becomes about performance rather than discovery, we risk dulling the natural spark that drives growth.
Instead, offer invitations to learn. Read together. Bake and measure. Build dens. Let them help write the grocery list. These are not detours from education — they are education.
In the Montessori view, children of this age are ready for more responsibility — but still need hands-on learning and freedom to move. They benefit from open access to materials, natural consequences instead of punishments, and an environment that nurtures initiative rather than obedience.
Saying “No” — And Why It Matters
One often misunderstood but developmentally essential behaviour at this age is the child saying “no.”
Many adults instinctively resist this, interpreting it as disrespect or defiance. But from a pedagogical and psychological perspective, “no” is a milestone of self-awareness. It is a child declaring their own boundary, thought, or need — even if imperfectly. It’s the early root of autonomy.
We don’t want to raise children who simply do what they’re told without thought. We want to raise humans who can speak up, express feelings, and stand confidently in themselves. Saying “no” is part of learning how to say “yes” from a place of true agency.
Children who are constantly shamed or punished for saying no often learn to silence themselves — and may struggle later in life with assertiveness, mental health, or people-pleasing tendencies.
So rather than suppressing it, let’s stay curious. “I hear you don’t want to put on your shoes. Can you tell me why?” This opens up dialogue. Over time, it teaches the child to communicate needs respectfully — without losing their voice.
The Heart of Connection
Your child is changing — and they know it. They may be excited, proud, nervous, confused. They may come home from school overflowing with stories — or completely silent, needing rest and reconnection.
Now more than ever, they need a safe home base — a place where they can fall apart and be accepted, where they don’t have to earn approval, and where their being is always more important than their doing.
This is a beautiful age — one where many parents start to see glimpses of the adult to come, but still hold the hand of the little one they’ve always known. Trust in the slow unfolding. Stay close, listen deep, and keep honouring the rhythm that makes your child uniquely who they are.
Want to explore more?
Coming up: The next age range opens the door into the early school years — when friendships deepen, learning becomes more abstract, and your child’s inner world begins to grow in complexity and depth.